#8

215.

UP FIVE FROM TWO WEEKS AGO?! WTF?!

-7 total

I'm pretty pissed. I know for a fact I didn't eat enough over the holiday to put on FIVE POUNDS. I've also been kicking my ass at the gym this week and not snacking. I snacked on a few handfuls of onion pretzels yesterday, but FIVE POUNDS?! REALLY?!

I have already decided to try to hit the gym as much as possible these next two weeks, even on the weekends, because then I'm home for almost a solid two weeks. This has given me even more reason to do it.. but, unfortunately, not good motivation.

Love letter to my body #1

I went to the gym last night in a bad mood.. rough day with kids, irritated at friends. I decided to kick it into high gear and I dug out the "death intervals" workout I found on the web awhile ago. The last time I did it, I couldn't go above 3.5 mph and did my runs at 5 mph. This time, I followed the regimen almost exactly as it was... 3.5 mph at 2% interval increases every 30 seconds, recovery, 5 mph sprint, recovery, 4.5 mph at 2% interval increases every 30 seconds. Then I had to do a 3.2 mph recovery instead of a 3.5, but I did the two 6 mph one-minute sprints! I couldn't do the 5 mph intervals, so I dropped back to 3.5 mph. My chest was tight and I was wheezing, but my god, I did it. I did 3/4 of the entire program!

After I wrapped up, I did 8 minutes at 15% incline, trying to build up my incline endurance. (Is that even a thing?) I'd like to do that for an hour sometime this weekend. I try to do that, then drop it down to a negative, down-hill incline, then back up to prepare myself for the hike next year.

I really am amazed at how my physical abilities are changing. That's more motivating than actually seeing the weight come off.

Aftermath.

I was home for Thanksgiving from Wednesday evening until Sunday night. I made some poor, poor decisions.. but I also had some successes.

The Ugly:
* Taco Bell for dinner Tuesday night.
* GORGED myself on dinner last night.
* Chocolate milkshake and fries on the way home last night.
* Didn't get as much activity in as I had planned.
* Ate too much fried food.. bleh.
* Too much regular Pepsi.

The Good:
* Only ate ONE plate at Thanksgiving dinner & left some scraps on that plate as well.
* Went for two three-mile walks with the fam.
* Shopped all day on Friday, so I was at least somewhat active.
* Went to the movies and did not get popcorn.

This week is a new week. I've already been to the gym today and I love how much happier my body feels when I'm getting some good, quality exercise in. I'm going to do my best to do the best that I can within these next three weeks!

#7

210

-12 total

GRRRRRRR*!($!

Positives:
I did SO much better this week.
I upped my vegetable and fruit intake.
I watched my portions.
I did not eat out during the week.
I did not drink during the week.
I went to the gym everyday.
I really busted my ass at the gym everyday.
I did elliptical workouts at 10+ resistance.
I can feel my fitness level increasing.
I'm not SO winded anymore.
I tried on a pair of knee-high boots at Target (not at a PLUS-size store) and they fit over my calves! They were snug, but they went up!

Negatives:
I kept snacking on the onion pretzels I made. (Loaded with butter.)
I went out to eat three times over the weekend.

I am very, VERY nervous about this next week with it being Thanksgiving and not being in York by my gym. I'm going to have to rely on will-power and motivation to get my ass out and moving and watch what I'm eating.
I drank half a bottle of wine on Sunday.
I didn't get any exercise in on the weekend except for walking Lucy.

My new love.

First off:

Dear Biggest Loser,

Thank you for making me cry for the last hour SOLID.

Love,
Heather

Second:

I discovered a new love of my life this week... PINEAPPLE. LOVE it.

Yesterday afternoon, two of my girlfriends and I went off to explore the city. I had just done laundry and one of my two "good" (read: fits without making my legs look like sausages) pairs of jeans was still a little wet from the dryer. I dug through my closet and pulled out a pair of Old Navy jeans that I don't think I've worn comfortably since I went back to school in 2007. I wore them to walk Lucy one day a few months ago and thought I might die on the way out because they were SO. TIGHT. I threw them on real quick, just to see, and lo and behold... THEY FIT! They're a tad bit tight in the knee, but other than that, they were super comfortable. Perfect around the waist, if not a little big, and butt.. thighs were good.. and they made me look THINNER because they weren't hanging off of my ass and sagging in the thighs. We even went out to eat at Hoss's and I wasn't uncomfortable in them after gorging myself on the salad bar.

I feel like all I've done this weekend is go out to eat. Friday afternoon, some of my co-workers and I went to a Mexican restaurant. I took half of my meal home with me. Friday night, I went to Cracker Barrel with some girlfriends. Once again, I took half of my meal home with me. Yesterday I ordered a dinner with my salad bar and I took the ENTIRE dinner home with me. I won't have to buy groceries at all this week! It's good to see that I'm leaning self-control. A few months ago, it wouldn't have been odd for me to eat three plates from the salad bar AND my dinner. It actaully disgusts me to think about that. It was so filling yesterday that I ate my salad bar around 2:30 and I wasn't hungry again until almost 11 last night.

#6

211.

-11

Yesterday's log:

Breakfast: two wholegrain waffles, one with 1 tbsp. low-fat peanut butter
Lunch: Apple slices, low-fat homemade macaroni and cheese
Snack: Cup of coffee with powdered creamer and Equal
Dinner: XL diet Cherry Coke, soft pretzel, celery & carrot slices with ranch
Snack: two onion rings, picked at a few fries, & a pint of Miller Lite

Exercise: two short walks with Lucy

I don't feel too bad about the onion rings & fries last night at The Vault because I had a lot of calories left to spare at the end of the day, but I still shouldn't have eaten the fried food that late at night. If I'm going to go to a bar to visit with friends, I gotta cut back on the beer as well.. there's no law that says I NEED to drink if I'm at a bar.

Veggies.

I went grocery shopping at Weis this morning. I always hit the produce section first and today it was a JOY to go through there! I found a veggie tray, a bag of Chiquita pre-sliced apples, full pineapple, and a bowl of melon chunks for 99 cents each. I bought stuff to make low-fat macaroni & cheese (made with 2% cheddar, fat-free cottage cheese, & fat-free ricotta cheese... as well as fat-free evaporated milk) and I've eaten one serving of that plus the melon chunks and some veggies today.

I think I might make another grocery store trip at some point this week to get some fat-free sour cream and hidden valley ranch mix and some veggies. I forget how much I like veggies and dip until I eat it again.

Lucy and I did a 6-mile walk on the Rail Trail this afternoon. I didn't realize how far we had gone until we got back to the parking lot and I grabbed a trail guide. It was quite the hike for her little beagle legs! I would love to do the entire trail, but unfortunately, I have guilt issues with walking without her and her little body can't handle much more than the 6 miles we did today. She fell asleep as soon as we got in the car and I literally had to carry her downstairs to go pee pee.. she wanted to go to bed instead, lol.

This week, I'm not setting a very high fitness goal for myself. I have parent-teacher conferences until 8 PM on Monday and Wednesday which leaves little time for gym since the one I go to closes at 9. I discovered that I can get workouts on demand, so I'm going to do either yoga or a Leslie Sansone 2-mile walk these days after I get home. Tuesday and Thursday will definitely be ass-kicking gym days, as well as Friday since it's a 1/2 day at school.

This is the most random post ever.. I just needed to sort things out in my head.

Inspiration.

I was so caught up in beating myself up earlier that I forgot to mention this story.

Last night when I met up with Tasha at The Waterway, as soon as I sat down she goes, "Holy shit, look at your face!" I was like.. WHAT?! What's wrong?! She goes, "You've lost SO much weight, at least 15 pounds!"

Last time I saw her was the first weekend I was in York by myself.. about 3 months ago.

It makes me feel really good to hear someone say that.

Relapse.

I did so well yesterday for a weekend day.. I bought a single-serve bag of potato chips and a single serve cup of french onion dip on my way home from work Friday night. I ate half the bag Friday night with dinner, then put it away. I had the other half last night while I was watching TV. I went on a long walk with Lucy while I was waiting for my laundry to dry, complete with hills and different terrain like sand, mud, etc. It was a GOOD walk.

I'm sitting around last night then, bored out of my mind, playing Wheel of Fortune online. (I'm 25 years old and I live in a city.. I sure know how to party.. :\) Tasha had texted me to see if I wanted to go out for her birthday around 8, but I didn't get it until then.. closer to 9. I decided to go out for a little bit (not like me) instead of sitting at home being lonely all night. At the bar, I had two bottles of beer and a shot. I would have been okay with myself if I could have left it at that, but I wanted to get home and I had a headlight out, so I was terrified that I would get pulled over. I ended up spending $9 on an order of crab fries and practically ate the whole thing..

I woke up this morning with the worst food hangover ever. Lesson learned and dually noted.

I do need to learn that I CAN go out and have fun, but not at the expense of my diet. I can go have A beer and some healthy-ish snack. Even two beers is not the end of the world.. but I need to keep myself from eating something crappy before I go to bed. I've been running in and out of the bathroom all morning. :(

#5

213.

-9

Inspiration.

I got hit on as I was walking into the gym tonight. Twice. Now THAT is motivation!

Activity log.

AM 15 min. walk with Lucy
PM 15 min. walk with Lucy
30 minutes on elliptical - around the world program
10 minutes arm, shoulders, & back

Food log.

Breakfast:
Yoplait Light yogurt - 100 cals.
2 frozen waffles - 240 cals.
Total: 340 calories

Lunch:
Leftovers from TGI Friday's..
Jack Daniels grilled chicken breast
loaded mashed potatoes
Total: 650 calories
(Basing this off a reading that says that 2 breasts, mashed potatoes and veggies is 500 calories.. & rounding up!)

Snacks:
Snack-size Three Musketeers bar (I couldn't help it.. ) - 70 cals.
Special K bar - 90 cals.
Total: 160 calories

Dinner:
8 oz. skim milk - 90 cals.
dry grilled chicken breast - 300 cals.
1 tbsp. BBQ sauce - 50 cals.
mushroom salad - 150 cals.
Total: 590 calories

Daily total: 1740

Today's food goal: Do not touch the candy in my desk! As a matter of fact, my REAL goal is to give it all out today so it's NOT sitting there.

Weighed myself this morning as soon as I got up...

220 lbs! That's up FIVE from Friday!

@&%*@(&%(*@%@

I feel some SERIOUS gym time coming on this week..

Home.

I went home this weekend for Mom and Abbie's birthdays. I knew I was putting myself up against a LOT of temptation, but I didn't think I'd do as bad as I did.. :\ I was so stressed Thursday night about not being able to make it to the gym for the whole weekend that I really thought I would do well.. BUUUUT.. no.

Friday night I went out to dinner w/ Matt's parents.. had a glass of wine, 4 pieces of ciabatta bread with spinach dip, a chicken bruschetta sandwich and french fries. To my credit, I only ate about 1/4 of the french fries and then asked the waitress to take them from me. Went to a friend's party, ate buffalo chicken dip, Goobers, and something else junky. Got home, ate more buffalo chicken dip that mom had made and drank Pepsi. GRR.

Saturday, went to Friday's for lunch. Shared fried green beans and spinach dip with the fam.. had Jack Daniel's chicken and shrimp for lunch. Only ate the shrimp and french fries, saved the chicken breast and mashed potatoes for lunch/dinner tomorrow. (Still have them!) Could have ordered healthier sides.. but.. :\ At least I did it in moderation. Dessert, had 1/2 Oreo Madness. At home, ate MORE shit.. had a ton of Halloween candy and buffalo chicken dip and a piece of birthday cake.

Today I did a little better.. had McDonalds for breakfast.. an egg mcmuffin and hashbrown AFTER I had already eaten a bowl of Apple Jacks and some leftover buffalo chicken dip. Had a venison hot dog and a hamburger (no bun) and a scoop of macaroni salad for lunch.. and a piece of boston cream pie.

Small success of the weekend? 1 - Did not stop for fast food on the way home. 2- Stopped at Ruby Tuesday last night to visit and did not eat anything. 3 - Did not stop for fast food on the way back.

Went for a walk on Rails to Trails with mom and dad and the dogs today which turned into a hike. I seriously get anxiety when I walk with them because I know it's going to turn into a damn hike everytime.. Today we took the dogs to get some water from a stream and mom looks up to this massive hill and says, "Hey, we should climb up there and see where it goes." HERE WE GO.. I actually made it up without getting as winded or as tired as I thought I would! Those incline workouts on the treadmill must be doing something good! It was a great feeling.

The hike today really inspired me to do my best and work till I'm dripping sweat this week. This entry itself inspired me to do REALLY well this week and to NOT have another entry like this when I get back next time I go home. Which is actually Thanksgiving.. that should be the biggest challenge I've faced this far.

#4

215.

-7 lbs.

Blisters.

My new shoes ripped the shit out of my ankles today. I wasn't too sure how I felt about them.. the padding around the back of my ankle felt weird. After I worked out in them, I like that padding a little more... I realized that it helps hold my ankle in place and keeps my feet from rolling out. I supinate really bad.. all of my shoes are completely worn on the outer edges and the shoes are pushed over the edge from how much weight I put on the outside of my foot. I hope that by keeping my ankles aligned it keeps my legs from hurting as bad and my back from hurting as well.

We shall see.

I just think the shoes look cool. :) Mama said they's my magic shoes..

I DID make to the gym AGAIN tonight! I set the treadmill for the Weight Loss workout on level 1. Kicked my butt a little, but I could have pushed myself harder. I was fighting blisters, but I kept going. Needless to say, my post-gym shower SUCKED.

I made every excuse tonight not to go to the gym. Let's see:

My legs hurt.
I was tired.
I had a long day.
I didn't get home until 6.
I walked Lucy with Bella around mine and Jenn's complexes.
I wanted to spend time with Lucy.
It was too late.

But.

I went!

Success.

I tried to switch it up a little bit and do the fat burn pre-set on the elliptical. I was only supposed to hit a target HR of 134. I was way over.. somewhere at like 145-148 most of the time. It's HARD for me to go that slow.. plus, I don't feel like I'm getting a workout. I still burned 300 calories though.. a.k.a. the two snack bags of BBQ chips I ate at our induction meeting tonight.. :\ Eep.

Kicks.

Did go to the gym today. 30 minutes on elliptical on cardio program, 156 target HR. 5 mins on stair(?) machine. Killed my knees. The movement seemed too exaggerated. Maybe it's me being out of shape or maybe it's my body. I'll try it again in a few weeks and see how it feels then.

I ordered a new pair of running shoes tonight from Endless. I got these: http://www.endless.com/ASICS%20Womens%20GEL-Kanbarra%20Running%20Turquoise/dp/B0029LHY66/ref=ord_crt_shr/184-0963292-4849751?fromPage=cart&asins=B0029LHY66.

They're neutral-plus, so I'm hoping that they help my shins not burn during/after workouts.

Next time I purchase sneakers, they'll be trail runners, getting ready for the Mega! :)

Success!

I WENT.

30 minutes on the elliptical doing the hill climb, max HR 161.
16:11 min. mile on the treadmill w/ a 5 mph 1/10 mile sprint... averaging 3.7 mph. Not bad for a fat girl just starting out.

Last time I timed myself on a mile I think it was 21 minutes in high school.. haha.

Goddddddddd I don't want to go to the gymmmmmmm...

#3

219.

I swear it looked like 217, but I don't want to crush myself next Friday!

Total: -3

Inspiration.

I feel like I need to link to this man's site: http://www.344pounds.com/. (Hi, Tyler! In case you ever read this.)

I was googling elliptical workouts and I came across his page. I am entirely inspired by everything he's achieved. Reading his posts has taught me that I need to stop looking at the goal of the Mega next year and focus on little goals, like being able to do the inclines at 3.7 mph instead of 3.5 mph. For someone as out of shape as I am, that's a hell of a big accomplishment.

Back in the saddle.

I'm BACK!

After a week of doing nothing, I'm back in the saddle. I've gone to the gym Tuesday, Wednesday, & today. I'm feeling pretty good about it. :)

Wednesday I did the death intervals workout. I couldn't do the inclines over 3.5 mph. I was dying. What I ended up doing was increasing the inclines, staying at 3.5, doing the recovery, and then sprinting. I even did the 6 mph sprint. 6 is too much for me, 5 I can sprint comfortably. Well, as comfortable as a sprint can be.

Weigh-in tomorrow morning. I'd be happy with a pound.

Lies.

I'm a liar. I didn't go to the gym today to do the interval training.

I went to The Vault after work with a few teachers and didn't get home until 5. I was going to walk Lucy and go to the gym for the interval training, but as my day went on, my throat started to hurt worse and worse. I got all set up for yoga at home but once I got down into the chair pose, my legs felt too weak.

I know. An excuse.

I've walked Lucy twice today and now I'm calling it quits. I want to curl up with my big red fleece blanket and work on a study guide for my kids.

My body aches.

Please don't let me get sick right now..

Death Intervals

I’m going to try this workout tomorrow on the treadmill. I don’t know if I’m physically capable of something this intense right now, but I’m going to try it. If I can’t do it, my goal will be to keep trying it until I AM able to do it.

Minutes MPH Incline
0:00-3:00 3.0 1
3:00-3:30 3.5 2
3:30-4:00 3.5 4
4:00-4:30 3.5 6
4:30-5:00 3.5 7
5:00-6:00 5.0 1
6:00-7:00 4.0 1
7:00-7:30 4.5 2
7:30-8:00 4.5 4
8:00-8:30 4.5 6
8:30-9:00 4.5 7
9:00-10:00 3.5 1
10:00-11:00 6.0 1
11:00-12:00 3.5 1
12:00-12:30 5.0 2
12:30-13:00 5.0 4
13:00-13:30 5.0 6
13:30-14:00 5.0 7
14:00-16:00 3.5 1
16:00-17:00 6.0 1
17:00-20:00 3.0 1

(Originally published in Fitness magazine, December 2005.)

#2

222 lb.

Well.. at least I haven't gained since last time.

Tuesday

eliptical – 45 mins.

HR – 159

Not running.

I guess I didn’t run with this blog the way I had planned on it. You know me, I don’t like to do anything for longer than a week at a time…

I was home this weekend to support my mom and dad in the Bald Eagle Mountain Megatransect. I did it last year, but I only made it through 8 miles before I cried like a bratty child and had my ass carted off the mountain. (I still say that if I had known they had Raisinets and peanut M&Ms at the first checkpoint, I would have hauled ass up that mountain.) I felt guilty for not doing it this year, but not guilty enough to make an actual effort to get ready for it and do it.

Anyway.

As my sisters and I were driving into the finish line to meet my parents, I saw a man with a prosthetic leg finishing up the hike. Yes. A man with a prosthetic leg could finish a 25-mile hike. I couldn’t. I made every excuse in the world as to why I couldn’t do it this year and I really had no good reason. He had every excuse in the world not to do it but he made the conscious effort to do it.

I found out yesterday that the guy who finished first completed the course in 4 hours and 20 minutes. He is 48 years old.

Do we see the problem here?

I’m 25. I should be in the best shape of my life. And I’m not. I’m not even close. My God, I got winded walking up a short hill to watch my parents come down the road.

If this is not an eye opener, then I should sit on the couch and eat Twinkies and Ho-Hos until I suffocate in fat..

So, moral of the story.. yesterday, I signed up for a Planet Fitness membership. I pass one on my way to and from work every morning. If guilt doesn’t get me, then nothing will.
I went today and I busted my ass. I ran 7 mph sprints and 15% inclines. I thought it was interesting that walking at a 15% incline at 2 mph brought my heart rate up to 181, but a 7 mph sprint only brought it up to 170. I don’t do stuff like this. I was going to time myself on the mile, but I kept messing up the treadmill. Comfortably, I can walk at 3 mph. I need to get this up to 4.

I’m already sore as hell, but it feels good to have actually done something today. Something positive.

Ohhhhhh fat girl, you go girl.

#1

222 lb.

Oh, hi.

Well, here I am. I’m only here because of Lucy, my dog. Since I’ve moved 3 hours away from home, I’m her only person, which means getting up at 6 a.m. to go for morning walks so she doesn’t piss on the carpet and rob me of my $400 pet deposit. Getting up at 6 a.m. everyday to do something physical does strange things to my body and my mind. I actually want to get up. I actually want to get outside. I feel guilty if I don’t, not only because Lucy doesn’t get a little exercise before I leave for what usually ends up being a 10-hour day, but also because I’m robbing my body of fresh air and cardio.

This week, I’ve noticed that these little morning walks make me feel like I need something more. I’ve been thinking about jogging because my legs have been itching for something more intense as the sun rises. I’m really good at excuses, though, and I usually can come up with 83 good reasons why I shouldn’t start running at that particular moment — my bangs might stick to my forehead, I’m not wearing the proper underwear, someone might see me, etc. Tonight, I had no desire to walk after dinner. I just wanted to sit, but those freakin’ beagle eyes kept staring at me like, “Come on, mom. It’s beautiful out! We both need it.” So I laced up and we went. As I stepped off my porch, I found myself running. RUNNING! That’s such a dirty word. RUNNING! But it feels so good when you say it! I. WAS. RUNNING. I didn’t run very far, only to the poopy trash bin behind the next complex. But I RAN! Lucy ran alongside me the whole time tripping over shit because she was staring up at me like, “MOM! What the fuck is going on with you?! This is great! This is exhilarating! We’re RUNNING!” I walked from the poopy trash can to the dumpster and then I ran to the end of the fence post! And then I kept running! And then I SPRINTED FOR MY FRONT DOOR! SPRINTED! I couldn’t fucking breathe and I’m still wheezing when I laugh, but I RAN. I. RAN.

And so it begins. I want to run MORE! I don’t want to wheeze for three hours after I run anymore, but, my god, do I want to RUN. Even if I’m only running 10 feet a day, I want to run. I want to come home and think to myself, “Holy shit, I just did that!”

I’ve always said that I would start running if only I could just get myself under 200 pounds. That’s bullshit. I’m just making excuses again. I’m at 220-something (I’ll officially weigh in tomorrow) and there’s really no better time than now. If I don’t start now, I’ll never not wheeze for three hours after I run, and Lucy will never look at me with that “Holy shit!” beagle expression on her face that makes it SO worth it.

Since I’ve moved here about 4 weeks ago, I’ve lost 10 pounds. I’m not exercising or anything other than the walking.. I’m just not eating shit anymore. I snack on fruit and pretzels. I eat a sandwich for lunch. Not a sandwich, granola bar, crackers, fruit snacks, and a soda. I drink a cup of coffee in the morning and that’s usually the only caffeine I have for the day, unless I treat myself to a diet Wild Cherry Pepsi because somedays deserve one.

I am SO ready to feel better about myself.

Game on!